I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
