i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am available for nakedness
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
