I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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