So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
