your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Be still, my beating vagina.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
