He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
