please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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