i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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