dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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