I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
