I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
