just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
