Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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