I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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