this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
barbara walters just said penis...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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