I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
