Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The power of my boobs compel you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize