Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
another moral hangover. fuck.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
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My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
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I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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