I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
