I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
