You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
