Can i not drive my cunt home
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
