no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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