1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
