Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just blew my weed a kiss
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
