walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
