grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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