Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
