i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
