You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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