Sry I called you an 8
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
