I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize