i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
