i just wanna soil my oats bro
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
