I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
