If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
