You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
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How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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