i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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