im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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