just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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