just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
