70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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