i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
