No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize