you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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