her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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