She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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