Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
