My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
