just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
