went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm at about main and main street
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
