Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
