There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
