It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
