oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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