Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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